“Only goals that take us outside our comfort zone enable us to rise to the occasion.
The rest just leave us standing still.” — Michael Hyatt, former publisher, now life coach
Looking for Good Ideas
The subtitle of Steve Magness’s book, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness, (Magness 2022) put me off. Anyone with the temerity to bolster their claims with “real science” has fumbled at the starting line. Real science creates confusion, not certainty. This kind of false advertising is more likely due to the publisher rather than the author.
I don’t really read these books word for word. I skim looking for things that stand out and don’t annoy me. I’m on the lookout for evidence and alert to hearsay and fabrications. The authors of most popular books are figureheads with weak ideas. The writing is done by text editors. Much of what you’ll read is skillfully aerated filler.
This is what I’ve learned from the publishing industry: there’s enough money to be made that publishers maximize each phase of book production by delegating it to separate teams. The authors’ original ideas, if there were any, are softened, sexed-up, inflated, air-brushed, and diluted. Once you’re aware of this, you’ll understand why current works in every genre seem so much alike.
Books produced for popular readership tend to be repetitive and sophomoric. They’re obviously written by a group of people who want to sell to the largest audience. The fact that every popular book in the popular press is approximately two hundred pages should make you suspicious. These are factory farmed commodities.
Making People More Effective
I’m ambivalent about enhancing the performance of just anyone. Most people are not committed to any goal, and some people are working toward goals I don’t support. I’m interested in high achievement in areas that are spiritual, intellectual, emotional, expressive, or creative.
When you work as a counselor you become aware that most of what people are working toward are not their own goals, but the goals they’ve been taught. Most people’s psychological energy goes toward conforming to expectations and amplifying social norms. You may think you’re advancing yourself as an individual, but who you are as an individual is largely determined by the role you’ve adopted, which has been selected from the roles you’ve been offered.
Most people are interested in achieving greater wealth, power, comfort, satisfaction, or security. These things don’t require goals or values and they don’t have limits, they just involve greater acquisition and they’re based on a sense of lack. Achievement based on a sense of lack is achievement that’s never fulfilled.
The aims of achieving greater power or comfort are actually expressions of emptiness that cannot be filled by getting what you want and avoiding what you fear. Money, power, and comfort cannot allay your long-term distress. They’re built on constant need that has no plateau or sufficiency. Achieving more power or comfort will provide a temporary respite, but soon the fears of inadequacy and the sense of need will reestablish themselves.
Are You Evolving or Amplifying?
Evolving means change and innovation. Amplifying means collecting more and getting bigger. Mammals evolved themselves; the dinosaurs amplified themselves. The experiences are exclusive, you’re either doing one or the other and they feel quite different. Most of us do not evolve but we’re unaware of it.
If you have issues regarding your goals, book a free call on my schedule:
